Integrity, bully, or doormat?

There is a very important difference between living a life of integrity, taking advantage of and controlling others, and allowing yourself to be taken advantage of.

It is vital that a person knows and understands that difference, for such knowledge and understanding determine whether we choose to remain a victim of our own experiences or whether we move on and take control of the rest of our lives.

But, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.

Thanksgiving, or something...

Happy Thanksgiving.

I guess.

Friday would be my Mom and Al's wedding anniversary. Well, not really. But they got married the day after Thanksgiving, so, in my mind, the day after Thanksgiving will always be their anniversary. Oh well.

Except for the part about wondering what she would have named her babies, this song really hits me every time I hear it. I miss my Mom. I miss my sisters. I miss Mikael. I even miss Al and my Dad. But, mostly, I miss my Mom.

By Kenny Chesney

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
See your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
Still can't believe you're gone

It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing, no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder who you'd be today

Would you see the world
Would you chase your dreams
Settle down with a family
I wonder what would you name your babies
Somedays the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy

It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing, no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder who you'd be today

Today... Today...Today...
Today... Today...Today...

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know I'll see you again someday

Someday... Someday

I know she is better off now. She got her audience with Papa. And she has been liberated from that body. But I miss her.

And I am mad at her for leaving me. And mad at myself for being mad at her. How selfish of me to wish her here when she was so miserable! Obviously, I just wish she had not left. Not that she was the way she was again.

I can't do this. I just can't.

Saturday

Morgan is going hiking with the Monterey Bay Aquarium Student Oceanography Club today. I wish I were her!! They are going to Big Basin State Park for their hike. It looks like a gorgeous place. I will have to make a point to make it there, myself, someday.

I am going to meet with my friend, Jane, to help her with her MATESOL program portfolio, which is the exit mechanism for the MA program I just completed (although I did the MATFL and a CALL Certificate).

It is in lieu of a traditional thesis - and no walk in the park, I must say!!!

We aren't doing anything particularly exciting for Thanksgiving; not even sure there is much to be thankful for... it's been a rough year!

Danielle and Nadine
Fisherman's Wharf
San Francisco, CA
September, 2003
We were supposed to go see my friend, Nadine, but between work and my H & R Block class,it won't work this year. The only good thing about not being able to visit her is not having to fly. I've known her for 25 years now, and she is one of my oldest, and definitely my dearest of, friends. Hopefully we will see her soon in spite of everything!

As soon as I find the power supply for Morgan's computer, I have to ship mine to Sony in San Diego - it's barely functional, and extremely frustrating!

Will write more soon. I've got work to do!!

Forgiveness

You need to live your foriveness, and allow it to be. Even if it is about other people. Giving of forgiveness is something you need for you, not them.

So forgive.

But, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong!!

Morgan and Chanel

Morgan and Chanel
Originally uploaded by NanaP.

Here are Morgan and Chanel getting ready to go get their picture taken with Santa.

They have to go back, though, the pictures wound up being blurry. Oh well.

They go back Sunday - hopefully they will turn out well this time around!!

Stuff

My computer is broken, and I have to send it in to Sony in San Diego to be repaired tomorrow.

As soon as I find the power supply, I am going to use Morgan's.

I will be (hopefully) temporarily laid off as of Friday. Thank goodness for the tax course I am taking!!

It was well over 80 degrees today - too hot for November, but gorgeous...

Marc Lavoine

Marc Lavoine is on the show, Vivement Dimanche, on the French TV station, TV5, right now.

I miss France, and will have to visit there soon.

I want to take a cruise to Mexico, too.

Qu'il est beau de pouvoir rêver ses rêves - et encore plus de pouvoir les vivre!!

Christmas card picture

Yesterday, I took Morgan to get her picture taken for our Christmas cards. I have never done that before, usually preferring to send out regular cards. This year, though, the SPCA had a thing going on, and so Morgan got her picture taken with Santa, our dog, Chanel, and one of our cats, JakeJake. The other cat, Kitty, didn't go, as she is really nervous around other animals. I didn't think Morgan would be able to keep hold of both cats... They gave us the entire roll of film that was taken. Hopefully they will turn out well!

I'll take Morgan's picture with Kitty, and include that one with our cards, too. Poor Kitty!! We wouldn't want to neglect her.

It was cool. The people after us had two girls, a beautiful puppy, and two gorgeous special breed chickens. You had to think of it - chickens as pets, not to mention on your Christmas cards!

Yahoo revisited

It's fixed at long last!
I am SO happy.
Now I need to save all those irreplaceable emails onto a disk in case my password is ever changed against my will again!!
Happy days are here again....!

Yahoo

Of course, the Yahoo account that I rely upon the most (for work as well as tons of other important financial and personal things) suddenly stopped working when I woke up Monday morning. Not only did my password no longer work, but none of the other information worked properly. I have called Yahoo, and emailed them, and I still have not succeeded in getting my password reset.

The depressing part is that all of my Mom's emails to me, which was the only way we communicated when I was out here for the year or so before her death, all those emails are in that account, and I can't get to them.

I am so afraid of losing all my data.

It makes me mad. Every other account, on Yahoo, at the bank, credit cards, etc., they all work no problem. But this most important one of all suddenly does not accept my password.

Sometimes it just doesn't pay to get up in the morning - this just makes me want to cry.

I hope that Yahoo is able to resolve whatever the problem is, and SOON. If not, I will lose all those memories of my Mom, and other important things, and I don't know how I will fix it all.

And ten years ago, I didn't even have an email account. Things sure change.

Connie & Sebastian

Connie & Sebastian
Originally uploaded by NanaP.

"Taste of Monterey" Happy Hour, Samson Center
MIIS 50th Anniversary Alumni Reunion
Monterey, CA
November 5, 2005

Connie Calderon's son, Sebastian

Sebastian
Originally uploaded by NanaP.

He's the spittin' image of his Dad, but with his Momma's eyes.
What a sweetie!
"Taste of Monterey" Happy Hour, Samson Center
MIIS 50th Anniversary Alumni Reunion
Monterey, CA
November 5, 2005

MIIS 50th anniversary alumni reunion

Last night I went to the first of three days' worth of MIIS alumni reunion, where I had a very nice time.

Barbara Burke did a fantastic job of setting this up.

I went to both the GSLEL reception and the GSIPS one. I didn't know many people at the GSLEL reception, but ran into Lara Magnusdottir, her husband and fellow MIIS alumnus, Tim Miller, Marjorie Gelin, Will Sells, Johnathan Benjamin-Alvarado, Roger Haney, Maureen Minnes, and Connie Calderon at the GSLEL reception. It was a very nice time.

Today I went to a faculty panel on language teaching in the 21st century, this evening there will be a "Taste of Monterey" happy hour, and tomorrow, an all-alumni barbecue, which we are really looking forward to. I hope to take some pictures tonight and tomorrow, which I neglected to do yesterday. I will post them if I do.

More later.....