Al Anon Q & A, Part 1
Al-Anon is for families, relatives and friends whose lives have been affected by someone else's drinking. What about when your life has been affected by (almost) everyone else's drinking?! Seriously, sometimes I start wallowing in self-pity, but really, I need to figure out a way to resolve some things and move past them.
The following questions are from Al-Anon, and might help in determining whether alcoholism affects your life(ves)...
Do you constantly seek approval and affirmation?
Not so much anymore, but still a bit. But, in my case, many, many, years, if not most of them were spent worrying about other people's approval of my actions, my words, and, most importantly, me. And, affirmations? Don't even go there!! My life has been a constant quest for external affirmation...
Do you fail to recognize your own accomplishments?
Until very recently, yes, always. Even now, I still have trouble with it, but I am slowly but surely getting better at realizing and acknowledging who I am...
Do you fear criticism?
Yes. I have a tendency to take things personally. I find it difficult to distinguish between criticism of who I am and criticism of what I do.
Do you overextend yourself?
Yes. I am learning two important things: 1. To recognize when I take on too much, and, 2. To say "no."
Have you had problems with your own compulsive behavior?
Somewhat. Especially when I was first out on my own.
Do you have a need for perfection?
Absolutely!
Are you uneasy when your life is going smoothly, continually anticipating problems?
Not so much. Uneasy, once in a while. However I generally fail to anticipate probems, stubbornly preferring to see the best in things....
Do you feel more alive in the midst of crisis?
I wouldn't say "more alive," per se, but "more in control," definitely.
Do you still feel responsible for the problem drinker(s) in your life?
All of them, yes.
Do you care for others easily, yet find it difficult to care for yourself?
Yes... to the extent that I often forget that I even deserve to be cared for!
Do you isolate yourself from other people?
More than most anyone I have ever met.
Do you respond with fear to authority figures and angry people?
Definitely. I fear authority figures, primarily insofar as they caninfluence my well-being. And angry people arouse such deep-seated fear that I alost immediately shut up, take whatever their anger entails, blame myself, and then punish myself for my real or imagined viscissitudes!
Do you feel that individuals and society in general are taking advantage of you?
No.
Do you have trouble with intimate relationships?
Yes. I have an extremely difficult time allowing myself to be vulnerable, accepting that I am himan, and letting my guard done far enough and long enough for me to even meet other people, mch less create an environment that is conducive to the development and maintenance of intimate relationships.
Tune in tomorrow, same bat time, same bat channel, for the continuing adventures of Danielle's Al-Anon question and answer session!
Bisous!!
Do you confuse pity with love, as you did/do with the problem drinker(s)?
Do you attract and/or seek people who tend to be compulsive or abusive?
Do you cling to relationships because you are afraid of being alone?
Do you often mistrust your own feelings and the feelings expressed by others?
Do you find it difficult to identify and express your emotions?
Do you think parental drinking may have affected you?
The following questions are from Al-Anon, and might help in determining whether alcoholism affects your life(ves)...
Do you constantly seek approval and affirmation?
Not so much anymore, but still a bit. But, in my case, many, many, years, if not most of them were spent worrying about other people's approval of my actions, my words, and, most importantly, me. And, affirmations? Don't even go there!! My life has been a constant quest for external affirmation...
Do you fail to recognize your own accomplishments?
Until very recently, yes, always. Even now, I still have trouble with it, but I am slowly but surely getting better at realizing and acknowledging who I am...
Do you fear criticism?
Yes. I have a tendency to take things personally. I find it difficult to distinguish between criticism of who I am and criticism of what I do.
Do you overextend yourself?
Yes. I am learning two important things: 1. To recognize when I take on too much, and, 2. To say "no."
Have you had problems with your own compulsive behavior?
Somewhat. Especially when I was first out on my own.
Do you have a need for perfection?
Absolutely!
Are you uneasy when your life is going smoothly, continually anticipating problems?
Not so much. Uneasy, once in a while. However I generally fail to anticipate probems, stubbornly preferring to see the best in things....
Do you feel more alive in the midst of crisis?
I wouldn't say "more alive," per se, but "more in control," definitely.
Do you still feel responsible for the problem drinker(s) in your life?
All of them, yes.
Do you care for others easily, yet find it difficult to care for yourself?
Yes... to the extent that I often forget that I even deserve to be cared for!
Do you isolate yourself from other people?
More than most anyone I have ever met.
Do you respond with fear to authority figures and angry people?
Definitely. I fear authority figures, primarily insofar as they caninfluence my well-being. And angry people arouse such deep-seated fear that I alost immediately shut up, take whatever their anger entails, blame myself, and then punish myself for my real or imagined viscissitudes!
Do you feel that individuals and society in general are taking advantage of you?
No.
Do you have trouble with intimate relationships?
Yes. I have an extremely difficult time allowing myself to be vulnerable, accepting that I am himan, and letting my guard done far enough and long enough for me to even meet other people, mch less create an environment that is conducive to the development and maintenance of intimate relationships.
Tune in tomorrow, same bat time, same bat channel, for the continuing adventures of Danielle's Al-Anon question and answer session!
Bisous!!
Do you confuse pity with love, as you did/do with the problem drinker(s)?
Do you attract and/or seek people who tend to be compulsive or abusive?
Do you cling to relationships because you are afraid of being alone?
Do you often mistrust your own feelings and the feelings expressed by others?
Do you find it difficult to identify and express your emotions?
Do you think parental drinking may have affected you?
posted by Nana @ 00:12
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