August, 2006

A few years ago, while he was living with my father, my son started drinking.

Later, his father and stepmother would drink and smoke pot WITH him. Not necessarily the greatest thing for someone with addictive tendencies.

For the last academic year, he was supposed to be studying abroad. Virtually the minute he got to France, however, he began to drink more and do more drugs.

In January, 2007, his life was spiraling completely out of control.

My father no longer wanted anything to do with him.

His father, and especially, his stepmother, no longer wanted anything to do with him. In what I imagine was a scene sadly reminiscent of that when his father, upon his grandmother's bidding, took me to a Breton train station and left me there, 5 months pregnant, his father also took Mikael to the train station one day, and left him there. He has not seen him since.

His "breakdown" seems to have started last August. The following was my first definite knowledge of the situation:

please get on aim tonight. there is a good chance i will be coming back
early (as in within a week). ive kind of had a breakdown combined with
bad shit here has made me realize there is no way i can do this year. I
need to do some therapy, maybe even some detox (depending on the cost),
and if possible id rather move to california to do it, at least until
second semester when i would come back to france (if it can be arranged
with st olaf). I cant get any positive mental work done in MN cause of
the uncomforatble home life/the amount of friends i have there would make
quitting drinking/smoking too hard. please email soon and PLEASE GET ON
AIM TONIGHT. thanks a lot youre always awesome

To which I replied:

What happened, exactly?

Don't rush into a rash decision without letting us all know what's going on.

Thank you.

I love you.

Love,

Mom

And he said,

ok. ive talked with my dad and i guess he doesnt want me to go home. its
a long story get on aim later and well talk. id really like to talk to
you soon tho cause i just need to get some stuff off my chest. talk to
you soon.

I thought things were smoothed over. That whatever had transpired was no big deal.... Not being a drinker, I had no idea what the problem was, nor did I realize its potential depth and breadth.