Plan C
It's been almost a month now. Morgan's father and stepmother haven't bothered to apply for her passport. They insist on claiming that the checks haven't been processed yet. Which is odd considering every other check I have sent to the US, to everybody else I sent one to, was processed in less than a week.
Somehow, Morgan's father and stepmother's bank is the one bank in America that takes over a month to cash a foreign check!!
I am getting very concerned. I am afraid that, even with the expedited processing, the passport won't arrive in time. And, in addition, because I don't think it will be done on time, I am not buying Morgan's ticket until they have her passport, and the prices are skyrocketing between the holidays and the price of gas. The cheapest ticket I can find is about $800, from Minneapolis to Paris. And that is a special sales fare that will only last for a couple more days. After that, the next cheapest is over $1,200. Add to that, the fact that Morgan doesn't have much of a break from school, and that what break she has completely coincides to the holiday fare hikes, and I find myself rather stuck. She may have to miss a few days of school.
Morgan asked me if I have a "Plan B," and I do. My Plan B has always been for us to go to the US for Christmas if John had a problem. However, we can't afford two tickets. One is more than enough at the current fare rates. So we're onto Plan C, which is for me to go to the US, without Fabrice. If Morgan's passport doesn't come on time, that is what I am going to do.
However, if I am left with only that option, then I plan to stay in the US and have my daughter, of whom I have the primary care, custody, and control, live with me, the way it was. Well, not entirely the way it was, but with her with me most of the time, and with then for all of her breaks.
I have spoken to Michele a few times, and partially based on that, partially based on my confidence in Morgan's paternal grandparents, even if I do have her back living with me, and even if that happens as of December or January, I am much more open to Morgan spending as much of her break time from school as she wants to in Wisconsin. Michele has told me that Christine is a fantastic person, that she adored her for herself, and was even more impressed by her abilities in interacting with the kids. And Michele also said, and she thought this would make me mad, that John is a wonderful father with Fiona. It did not make me mad.
I still do not like or trust John. I doubt I ever will. I still cannot forget the filthy things he said about Morgan. However, I think that Morgan is old enough to both stick up for herself and to have some say in where she lives.
That said, "some say" doesn't mean that she decides. I honestly believe that, between the 12 plus years of parenting Morgan that I had up until I let her spend some time living there, the fact that I am her mother, the fact that my life and my mental health have improved considerably over the years, and the fact that I have her best interests in my heart of hearts, and not just what I want, Morgan is best off living with me during the school year and spending as much of her breaks as she wants to in Wisconsin.
In fact, the sole reason I thought to let her live there a few months in the first place is after seeing the horrible psychological games that one of my friend's, and Fabrice's ex-wives play, using their girls as tools for hurting their ex-husbands. That isn't right.
My friend and Fabrice are not John. Their stories are not ours. But it still isn't right. So I wanted to give Morgan the chance to spend some time living with John.
I never intended for it to be a permanent change, and never said that I did. I still don't.
So, anyway, we're onto Plan C. And I felt it only right to let you all know the gameplan.
Thank you, Christine, for being the person that you are. I am glad you guys got to spend that weekend at the Barn. Otherwise, I never would have known.
Thank you, John, for growing up and taking some responsibility. I do not agree with some of your decisions vis a vis Morgan. But I do appreciate your apparent maturation on the being a father front.
Somehow, Morgan's father and stepmother's bank is the one bank in America that takes over a month to cash a foreign check!!
I am getting very concerned. I am afraid that, even with the expedited processing, the passport won't arrive in time. And, in addition, because I don't think it will be done on time, I am not buying Morgan's ticket until they have her passport, and the prices are skyrocketing between the holidays and the price of gas. The cheapest ticket I can find is about $800, from Minneapolis to Paris. And that is a special sales fare that will only last for a couple more days. After that, the next cheapest is over $1,200. Add to that, the fact that Morgan doesn't have much of a break from school, and that what break she has completely coincides to the holiday fare hikes, and I find myself rather stuck. She may have to miss a few days of school.
Morgan asked me if I have a "Plan B," and I do. My Plan B has always been for us to go to the US for Christmas if John had a problem. However, we can't afford two tickets. One is more than enough at the current fare rates. So we're onto Plan C, which is for me to go to the US, without Fabrice. If Morgan's passport doesn't come on time, that is what I am going to do.
However, if I am left with only that option, then I plan to stay in the US and have my daughter, of whom I have the primary care, custody, and control, live with me, the way it was. Well, not entirely the way it was, but with her with me most of the time, and with then for all of her breaks.
I have spoken to Michele a few times, and partially based on that, partially based on my confidence in Morgan's paternal grandparents, even if I do have her back living with me, and even if that happens as of December or January, I am much more open to Morgan spending as much of her break time from school as she wants to in Wisconsin. Michele has told me that Christine is a fantastic person, that she adored her for herself, and was even more impressed by her abilities in interacting with the kids. And Michele also said, and she thought this would make me mad, that John is a wonderful father with Fiona. It did not make me mad.
I still do not like or trust John. I doubt I ever will. I still cannot forget the filthy things he said about Morgan. However, I think that Morgan is old enough to both stick up for herself and to have some say in where she lives.
That said, "some say" doesn't mean that she decides. I honestly believe that, between the 12 plus years of parenting Morgan that I had up until I let her spend some time living there, the fact that I am her mother, the fact that my life and my mental health have improved considerably over the years, and the fact that I have her best interests in my heart of hearts, and not just what I want, Morgan is best off living with me during the school year and spending as much of her breaks as she wants to in Wisconsin.
In fact, the sole reason I thought to let her live there a few months in the first place is after seeing the horrible psychological games that one of my friend's, and Fabrice's ex-wives play, using their girls as tools for hurting their ex-husbands. That isn't right.
My friend and Fabrice are not John. Their stories are not ours. But it still isn't right. So I wanted to give Morgan the chance to spend some time living with John.
I never intended for it to be a permanent change, and never said that I did. I still don't.
So, anyway, we're onto Plan C. And I felt it only right to let you all know the gameplan.
Thank you, Christine, for being the person that you are. I am glad you guys got to spend that weekend at the Barn. Otherwise, I never would have known.
Thank you, John, for growing up and taking some responsibility. I do not agree with some of your decisions vis a vis Morgan. But I do appreciate your apparent maturation on the being a father front.
posted by Nana @ 11:31
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