"Be Not Afraid"

The last time I saw my Mom alive was in June of 2005. As I left her house that day, I looked back at her. We both knew in our heart of hearts that we would never see one another again in this lifetime. Nothing was said. There was nothing to say. We simply knew.

She passed away on July 30, 2005.

My mother had "found religion" in her last years. I think that she had always believed in God, but I don't know for sure. She became a Catholic, and was a very dedicated fan, if Popes can have fans, of Pope John Paul II. Despite her will to live and her fear of suffocating, my mother knew that she had become trapped in her body, unable to speak, or swallow, laugh or kiss, stand or walk.... And yet, despite her fears, she was settled and comforted at the thought of the freedom of death and her chance for an audience with John Paul II. She sought to live his message, and was not afraid.

The night she passed away, her priest was visiting. As he got up to leave that evening, like me a few short weeks before, he sensed that something was different... He knew that my mother's time had come. She knew that he knew. She knew, too. The priest went to the door, and looked back at my mother. He then made a gesture, or a step, as if to go back to her to comfort her, or guide her or help her or..... She shook her head at him and smiled. Then she used her finger to write in the air, her final message to her priest, at least. With her finger, she spelled out: Be Not Afraid.

The priest went on his way.

Within another 15 minutes, my sweet Momma was gone.

But she was no longer afraid. And maybe, just maybe, she had that audience with John Paul II.

Here's hoping!