The Measure of Our Lives....

For many, many years, I wouldn't get pets at all for fear of losing them. In 1979, our dog, Muffy, died in a house fire. I did not get a pet again, at all, until about 1999, and those were fish and then gerbils. Now, since April, 2005, we have pets again. We started by adopting one dog from the SPCA, and now have two dogs, two cats, and a fish. I can't resist an animal (or person) in need...

For even more years, and sometimes, even now, I wouldn't (or won't) get close to people. It remains difficult for me. To start with, I am painfully shy and reserved. Even with people I know, but VERY much so with those that I don't know at all, or well. I have had my share of difficulty, my share of pain. Those experiences add to my reticence with others. So has my unwillingness to take advantage or to take people for granter. I tend to live my life seriously. I take things to heart. It matters to me. Whatever it is. Oftentimes other people do not understand that. Or they find it too intense. Or it frightens them. It's too bad when that happens. It hurts me. The sadness doesn't end.

Nonetheless, I cannot change who I am. Nor do I want to. In my friendships and in deeper love relationships, I give it my all. I am committed, deeply, to the people who matter to me. People and animals, humanity and compassion... Caring is what is important in my life. Caring and helping are what bring me the most joy.

But the other side of joy is heartache... But all of the tears and all of the sorrow would not exist, at all, had you not had the pleasure and joy of caring for and loving in the first place. If it didn't matter, you wouldn't care, and that experience, that caring, is what makes life matter. I believe that life is built in the caring and compassion that we have for others. Perhaps one can take solace in thinking of the comfort brought by caring, helping, sharing life...

To my mind, when it comes to the measure of our lives, all we have is love.

Take heart.