Foggy Bottom
posted by Nana @ 04:56
0 Comments
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Shelter From the Storm ~ Lyrics
'Twas in another lifetime, one of toil and blood
When blackness was a virtue and the road was full of mud
I came in from the wilderness, a creature void of form.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."
And if I pass this way again, you can rest assured
I'll always do my best for her, on that I give my word
In a world of steel-eyed death, and men who are fighting to be warm.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."
Not a word was spoke between us, there was little risk involved
Everything up to that point had been left unresolved.
Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."
I was burned out from exhaustion, buried in the hail,
Poisoned in the bushes an' blown out on the trail,
Hunted like a crocodile, ravaged in the corn.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."
Suddenly I turned around and she was standin' there
With silver bracelets on her wrists and flowers in her hair.
She walked up to me so gracefully and took my crown of thorns.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."
Now there's a wall between us, somethin' there's been lost
I took too much for granted, got my signals crossed.
Just to think that it all began on a long-forgotten morn.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."
Well, the deputy walks on hard nails and the preacher rides a mount
But nothing really matters much, it's doom alone that counts
And the one-eyed undertaker, he blows a futile horn.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."
I've heard newborn babies wailin' like a mournin' dove
And old men with broken teeth stranded without love.
Do I understand your question, man, is it hopeless and forlorn?
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."
In a little hilltop village, they gambled for my clothes
I bargained for salvation an' they gave me a lethal dose.
I offered up my innocence and got repaid with scorn.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."
Well, I'm livin' in a foreign country but I'm bound to cross the line
Beauty walks a razor's edge, someday I'll make it mine.
If I could only turn back the clock to when God and her were born.
"Come in," she said,
"I'll give you shelter from the storm."
Copyright © 1974 Ram's Horn Music
posted by Nana @ 01:06
0 Comments
Wondering.......
I found a BB-sized lump in my right breast the other day. I am going to the doctor today.
I'll keep you posted.
J'ai trouvé une petite boule dure dans mon sein droit l’autre jour. Je vais voir mon médecin aujourd’hui.
Je vous tiendrais au courant.
I'll keep you posted.
J'ai trouvé une petite boule dure dans mon sein droit l’autre jour. Je vais voir mon médecin aujourd’hui.
Je vous tiendrais au courant.
posted by Nana @ 00:52
0 Comments
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Green Day - Wake Me Up When September Ends (Live)
From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wake_Me_Up_When_September_Ends
Billie Joe Armstrong has confirmed to the public that the song was written as a memorial anthem about his father, a jazz musician and minor league baseball catcher, who died of lung cancer when Armstrong was only ten years old.
In this melancholy ballad, Armstrong revisits his painful childhood and thinks about the day he lost his innocence when his father died. Like many faced with such a traumatic event, he never truly recovered, and he can't believe that twenty years have passed since that September day. As Armstrong associates pain with the month September, he would rather not deal with anything related to the month, prompting him to sing, "As my memory rests, but never forgets what I lost... Wake me up when September ends..."
Lyrics:
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends
Like my fathers come to pass
Seven years has gone so fast
Wake me up when September ends
Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends
Ring out the bells again
Like we did when spring began
Wake me up when September ends
Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends
Like my father's come to pass
Twenty years has gone so fast
Wake me up when September ends
Wake me up when September ends
Wake me up when September ends
posted by Nana @ 03:04
0 Comments
Thought Patterns
You know, just writing about this, making concrete (albeit wet concrete as of now!) plans, and taking some proactive measures, even hypothetical ones, helps me feel less of a flood of despair.
The job I had at DLI isn't an option for me any longer. I am in the running for a different job there, but I am not holding my breath. First, the first one took me two years to get; and, second, it involves a lot of traveling, and with my daughter, and her pets, but the daughter in particular, that isn't so easy. Plus, for reasons I will touch on below (going into too much detail is too painful at the present time), I do not particularly want to live in Monterey. The potential job at DLI is not entirely out of the question. And, if they offer the job to me, I will probably take it. Any job is better than no job, after all. But that particular employment is rather fraught with complication, doncha' know.
I am, however, hoping for something similar.
I love California. I like the people. I like the outdoors. I like the ocean. California would be my first choice.
I love Monterey. One of the main issues I am having right now, and the primary motivator in my upcoming return to the States, is the girl child. Because F, and a friend of mine, have ex-wives from Hell, I decided to let girl child spend some time living with her father. Both F and D's ex-wives manipulate their daughters to punish their ex-husbands, and have severely damaged both their kids' relationships with their fathers and along with those relationships, any hope for a "normal" father-daughter future, and their kids' psyches and well-beings, themselves. Seeing the damage done to F and D, and imagining the damage done to their respective daughters, I did not want to inflict the same tragedy upon my daughter, or even upon her father, whom I neither esteem in the least, nor care for whatsoever.
I have difficulty forgetting when he said, the first time he ever met girl child, when she was 20 days old and weighed in at a whopping 3.9 pounds, "She has your lips, I wonder if she has both sets."
That comment, that sick, disgusting, perverted comment, defined my relationship with J for the rest of my life. Not only can I not forget what he said, but neither can I forgive him either.
There is more, but I can't go into it any deeper, now. I'm sorry.
Because girl child had grown up some, and given the input and support of her paternal grandparents, who are absolutely adorable, I decided to give J another chance and let girl child spend some time living there. I agreed to let her spend eighth grade in Wisconsin. After that, I said that we would see. In addition, but secondary to my desire to allow girl child a stable and bonding relationship with both sides of her family and both of her parents, I had just gotten married, F lives in France, and I didn't want to live 9,000 kilometers away from my husband. I came here on vacation, intending to return to Monterey and DLI, but my supervisor and administration screwed up my pay, so I received no income for weeks, and then influenced undue pressure on me who had nothing to live off of due to the income-less weeks, forcing me to resign. To top it all off, the friends I thought I had at my place of employment; two of them, in particular, C and G, proved to be fair-weather friends, at best.
We live and learn.
So I did what I did. I made a choice. All of our choices have consequences.
But my "grand gesture of maternal sacrifice and dedication" (that was intended to be read as a sarcastic, self-deprecating statement) was contingent upon my seeing my daughter, whom I had raised, ALONE, since birth, at least at Christmas, at my place of residence. Her father, despite me sending the money necessary, going to the Embassy in Paris to get things taken care of administratively, and doing everything in my power to facilitate that trip, has denied me my right to parent my child by refusing to get her a passport (and manipulating people and things in an attempt to place the blame for his ultimate refusal on me).
There is more, but I do not want to go into it any further, I am just giving you the basics, here.
So, I am coming back to the States and taking my daughter back. Against her will. Because I believe it is in her best interest to be with me and because I am her custodial parent and have rights.
It is against her will, I am sure, because she has never experienced a true familial environment with me. A struggling single parent with depression apparently has a helluva lot less to offer than an alcoholic father who rarely works, who is happily married, lives near his surgeon father and altruistic mother, and has a young baby in the house. I had to do everything myself. My parents were never parents. I had my own issues. I was a full-time student while working full-time. Money was tight for me, while his parents have purchased two houses for him. I struggled and he didn't pay child support. I was tired, while he was around and supported by a loving and stable family. But I did my best, I did it myself, and I owe nothing to anybody. Now I am different, and my life is different, and I have a better family life to offer my child.
But she doesn't want to hear it, and her angry, mentally-ill, manipulative father and naive Holly-go-Lightly, Pollyanna-esque stepmother have brainwashed her with half-truths and pure bullshit.
This is being explained to you so that you know why I think it best not to live on the Monterey Peninsula proper. Even Carmel Valley would be okay. In fact, it's one of my favorite places on earth. But not the Monterey Peninsula.
Because, in addition to the horrible teenage angst she is living now, in addition to being once-again victimized by her father, many of girl child's friends in Monterey were not on the right track. Drinking and having sex in seventh grade, deciding at age 11 where you are going to sleep each night, is not a proper upbringing. And I am concerned that those same friends would help girl child to run away to Wisconsin, or worse.
That said, if my attempt to take back my life and rekindle my relationship with my daughter fails, then I will let her go back to J. But that will not be a good thing. The only way that I can imagine such a thing is if I refrain from interacting with her at all for a significant period of time.
So, anyway, the Monterey Peninsula proper is out.
I am overwhelmed and sad. That is why I asked for help. I can work. I can pay my bills. I can do most anything. But the mere thought of trying to find a place to live, is too much for me given the current situation. I am only me, and I can't do everything. F isn't American, doesn't speak great English, doesn't have a Green Card, yet, and can only help me so much. There will be some money on his side of the equation, even though he won't be living in the States for a few months. But he won't be there for the day-to-day living stuff. He won't be there to help me find a place to go, or to help me, in general. And he won't be able to support me emotionally. In my desperation and downright despair and fear, I turned to my friends.
And, not only have some of them offered to help me, not only are they friends in all kinds of weather, but this interaction with them, and their friendship, are making me stronger. Thank you/them for that. France, in particular the French, the difficulties of a first year of marriage with a stubborn, tough, but essentially good man, who has nonetheless been hardened by life and by 20 years as a cop in the Paris projects; all of that, now magnified by this struggle with my daughter, have weakened me, have made me doubt myself, etc.
This move will be good for me. Once I find a place to go to.
San Francisco Bay area, Santa Barbara, San Diego, even Carmel Valley, but as a last choice, are all good possibilities. LA proper is overwhelming to me.
I just need help finding a place to live, maybe even one that is owned by a friend (like I have such friends!!) or a friend of a friend.... !
So that's what I am thinking. Sorry for being such a downer, but I needed for you to understand where I am coming from.
Oh, and I am hoping to be back there by mid-February.
After two weeks of being out with my phlebitis, I am going back to school tomorrow. I can't wait to see my students!! I am spending my Sunday preparing my lessons, cleaning, walking my puppy dog, who has matured in to a relatively well-behaved young lady, and trying to make progress on my move back to the US.
The job I had at DLI isn't an option for me any longer. I am in the running for a different job there, but I am not holding my breath. First, the first one took me two years to get; and, second, it involves a lot of traveling, and with my daughter, and her pets, but the daughter in particular, that isn't so easy. Plus, for reasons I will touch on below (going into too much detail is too painful at the present time), I do not particularly want to live in Monterey. The potential job at DLI is not entirely out of the question. And, if they offer the job to me, I will probably take it. Any job is better than no job, after all. But that particular employment is rather fraught with complication, doncha' know.
I am, however, hoping for something similar.
I love California. I like the people. I like the outdoors. I like the ocean. California would be my first choice.
I love Monterey. One of the main issues I am having right now, and the primary motivator in my upcoming return to the States, is the girl child. Because F, and a friend of mine, have ex-wives from Hell, I decided to let girl child spend some time living with her father. Both F and D's ex-wives manipulate their daughters to punish their ex-husbands, and have severely damaged both their kids' relationships with their fathers and along with those relationships, any hope for a "normal" father-daughter future, and their kids' psyches and well-beings, themselves. Seeing the damage done to F and D, and imagining the damage done to their respective daughters, I did not want to inflict the same tragedy upon my daughter, or even upon her father, whom I neither esteem in the least, nor care for whatsoever.
I have difficulty forgetting when he said, the first time he ever met girl child, when she was 20 days old and weighed in at a whopping 3.9 pounds, "She has your lips, I wonder if she has both sets."
That comment, that sick, disgusting, perverted comment, defined my relationship with J for the rest of my life. Not only can I not forget what he said, but neither can I forgive him either.
There is more, but I can't go into it any deeper, now. I'm sorry.
Because girl child had grown up some, and given the input and support of her paternal grandparents, who are absolutely adorable, I decided to give J another chance and let girl child spend some time living there. I agreed to let her spend eighth grade in Wisconsin. After that, I said that we would see. In addition, but secondary to my desire to allow girl child a stable and bonding relationship with both sides of her family and both of her parents, I had just gotten married, F lives in France, and I didn't want to live 9,000 kilometers away from my husband. I came here on vacation, intending to return to Monterey and DLI, but my supervisor and administration screwed up my pay, so I received no income for weeks, and then influenced undue pressure on me who had nothing to live off of due to the income-less weeks, forcing me to resign. To top it all off, the friends I thought I had at my place of employment; two of them, in particular, C and G, proved to be fair-weather friends, at best.
We live and learn.
So I did what I did. I made a choice. All of our choices have consequences.
But my "grand gesture of maternal sacrifice and dedication" (that was intended to be read as a sarcastic, self-deprecating statement) was contingent upon my seeing my daughter, whom I had raised, ALONE, since birth, at least at Christmas, at my place of residence. Her father, despite me sending the money necessary, going to the Embassy in Paris to get things taken care of administratively, and doing everything in my power to facilitate that trip, has denied me my right to parent my child by refusing to get her a passport (and manipulating people and things in an attempt to place the blame for his ultimate refusal on me).
There is more, but I do not want to go into it any further, I am just giving you the basics, here.
So, I am coming back to the States and taking my daughter back. Against her will. Because I believe it is in her best interest to be with me and because I am her custodial parent and have rights.
It is against her will, I am sure, because she has never experienced a true familial environment with me. A struggling single parent with depression apparently has a helluva lot less to offer than an alcoholic father who rarely works, who is happily married, lives near his surgeon father and altruistic mother, and has a young baby in the house. I had to do everything myself. My parents were never parents. I had my own issues. I was a full-time student while working full-time. Money was tight for me, while his parents have purchased two houses for him. I struggled and he didn't pay child support. I was tired, while he was around and supported by a loving and stable family. But I did my best, I did it myself, and I owe nothing to anybody. Now I am different, and my life is different, and I have a better family life to offer my child.
But she doesn't want to hear it, and her angry, mentally-ill, manipulative father and naive Holly-go-Lightly, Pollyanna-esque stepmother have brainwashed her with half-truths and pure bullshit.
This is being explained to you so that you know why I think it best not to live on the Monterey Peninsula proper. Even Carmel Valley would be okay. In fact, it's one of my favorite places on earth. But not the Monterey Peninsula.
Because, in addition to the horrible teenage angst she is living now, in addition to being once-again victimized by her father, many of girl child's friends in Monterey were not on the right track. Drinking and having sex in seventh grade, deciding at age 11 where you are going to sleep each night, is not a proper upbringing. And I am concerned that those same friends would help girl child to run away to Wisconsin, or worse.
That said, if my attempt to take back my life and rekindle my relationship with my daughter fails, then I will let her go back to J. But that will not be a good thing. The only way that I can imagine such a thing is if I refrain from interacting with her at all for a significant period of time.
So, anyway, the Monterey Peninsula proper is out.
I am overwhelmed and sad. That is why I asked for help. I can work. I can pay my bills. I can do most anything. But the mere thought of trying to find a place to live, is too much for me given the current situation. I am only me, and I can't do everything. F isn't American, doesn't speak great English, doesn't have a Green Card, yet, and can only help me so much. There will be some money on his side of the equation, even though he won't be living in the States for a few months. But he won't be there for the day-to-day living stuff. He won't be there to help me find a place to go, or to help me, in general. And he won't be able to support me emotionally. In my desperation and downright despair and fear, I turned to my friends.
And, not only have some of them offered to help me, not only are they friends in all kinds of weather, but this interaction with them, and their friendship, are making me stronger. Thank you/them for that. France, in particular the French, the difficulties of a first year of marriage with a stubborn, tough, but essentially good man, who has nonetheless been hardened by life and by 20 years as a cop in the Paris projects; all of that, now magnified by this struggle with my daughter, have weakened me, have made me doubt myself, etc.
This move will be good for me. Once I find a place to go to.
San Francisco Bay area, Santa Barbara, San Diego, even Carmel Valley, but as a last choice, are all good possibilities. LA proper is overwhelming to me.
I just need help finding a place to live, maybe even one that is owned by a friend (like I have such friends!!) or a friend of a friend.... !
So that's what I am thinking. Sorry for being such a downer, but I needed for you to understand where I am coming from.
Oh, and I am hoping to be back there by mid-February.
After two weeks of being out with my phlebitis, I am going back to school tomorrow. I can't wait to see my students!! I am spending my Sunday preparing my lessons, cleaning, walking my puppy dog, who has matured in to a relatively well-behaved young lady, and trying to make progress on my move back to the US.
posted by Nana @ 02:24
0 Comments
Saturday, November 24, 2007
"It's Gonna' Always Be Just Like it Is"
Dolly Parton in a movie I never saw
posted by Nana @ 14:11
0 Comments
Bob Dylan - Mr. Tambourine Man
But this song has my all-time favorite line of lyrics in it:
"Yes to dance
beneath the diamond sky
with one hand waving free
silhouetted by Sea
Circled by the Circus sands
With all memory and fate
Driven deep beneath the waves
Let me forget about today until tomorrow
posted by Nana @ 13:54
0 Comments
Bob Dylan - Boots of Spanish Leather
Spanish boots of Spanish leather
From: The Times They are A-Changin'
posted by Nana @ 13:46
0 Comments
Don't Think Twice, It's Alright - Bob Dylan (Old Version)
This is probably my all-time favorite song.
Well it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe,
If'n you don't know by now.
An' it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It'll never do, somehow
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Look out your window and I'll be gone
You're the reason I'm trav'lin' on
Don't think twice, it's all right
An' it ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
That light I never knowed
An' it ain't no use in turnin' on your light, babe
I'm on the dark side of the road
But I wish there was somethin' you would do or say
To try and make me change my mind and stay
We never did too much talkin' anyway
Don't think twice, it's all right
No, it ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
Like you never did before
An' it ain't no use in callin' out my name, gal
I can't hear you anymore
I'm a-thinkin' and a-wond'rin' walkin' down the road
I once loved a woman, a child I'm told
I give her my heart but she wanted my soul
But don't think twice, it's all right
So long, honey babe
Where I'm bound, I can't tell
But goodbye's too good a word, babe
So I'll just say fare thee well
I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind
You could have done better but I don't mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don't think twice, it's all right
posted by Nana @ 13:33
0 Comments
Aerosmith, Steven Tyler, and Me
I went to my first rock concert last summer. Fabrice escorted Aerosmith, and they gave me a ticket in the VIP section. It was so much fun.
Beforehand, after they got to Bercy, in Paris, where the concert was, when Fabrice and his guys were hanging out with Steven Tyler and company before the concert, he mentioned me, and Steven Tyler had him call me over. What a nice guy! He greeted me with a big hug and a kiss, and asked me a quick question, in French. When I responded in English, he was all sweet and interested, and we actually had a full-fledged conversation.
I HATE me in this picture, but it's not like I had much of a choice. I was surprised at the situation, at the guy's kindness and down-to-earthedness, and to be having my picture taken. Plus, the heat was oppressive, and the angle sucks, too, and I look fat.
But, it's kinda cool, nonetheless!!!
Beforehand, after they got to Bercy, in Paris, where the concert was, when Fabrice and his guys were hanging out with Steven Tyler and company before the concert, he mentioned me, and Steven Tyler had him call me over. What a nice guy! He greeted me with a big hug and a kiss, and asked me a quick question, in French. When I responded in English, he was all sweet and interested, and we actually had a full-fledged conversation.
I HATE me in this picture, but it's not like I had much of a choice. I was surprised at the situation, at the guy's kindness and down-to-earthedness, and to be having my picture taken. Plus, the heat was oppressive, and the angle sucks, too, and I look fat.
But, it's kinda cool, nonetheless!!!
posted by Nana @ 13:31
2 Comments
Aerosmith - I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing
I have always loved this song.
It was such a treat to go to the Aerosmith concert this past summer.
I was especially luck to meet, talk to, and have my picture taken with Steven Tyler.
posted by Nana @ 13:29
0 Comments
Suddenly I see
Yet another favorite song - a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do to cheer herself up!!
posted by Nana @ 13:16
0 Comments
Elliott Smith Say Yes
Another favorite - thanks to my wonderful son who first sent it to me!!
posted by Nana @ 13:13
0 Comments
My Current Theme Song - The Refrain, Anyway
Torn
Natalie Imbruglia
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x66RR_0Ffjc
I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around and he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know, don't seem to care what your heart is for
But I don't know him anymore
There's nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That's whats going on, nothing's fine, I'm torn
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn
So I guess the fortune teller's tell us right
Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
But you crawled beneath my veins and now
I don't care, I have no luck, I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things that I can't touch, I'm torn
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn. Torn.
There's nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on, nothings right, I'm torn
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I'm ashamed bound and broken on the floor
You're a little late, I'm already torn
Natalie Imbruglia
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x66RR_0Ffjc
I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm, he came around and he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know, don't seem to care what your heart is for
But I don't know him anymore
There's nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That's whats going on, nothing's fine, I'm torn
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn
So I guess the fortune teller's tell us right
Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
But you crawled beneath my veins and now
I don't care, I have no luck, I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things that I can't touch, I'm torn
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn. Torn.
There's nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on, nothings right, I'm torn
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I'm ashamed bound and broken on the floor
You're a little late, I'm already torn
posted by Nana @ 13:00
0 Comments
The Wisdom of Kris Kristofferson
I said I won't be leavin' no more quicker than I can,
'Cause I've enjoyed about as much of this as I can stand.
posted by Nana @ 12:57
0 Comments
Sympathique
Mode d'emploi : Si on s'y met tous, c'est vraiment marrant. Copie ce mail en
Entier et colle-le dans un nouveau mail. Change toutes les réponses pour
Qu'elles soient les tiennes. Ensuite, envoie ce message a un groupe de gens
Que tu connais, incluant la personne qui te l'a envoyé. En théorie tu vas
Apprendre plusieurs petites choses a propos de tes amis.
N'oublie pas d'envoyer tes réponses a l'expéditeur de ce message
1. Quelle heure est-il ? 10 :49
2. Prénom ? Danielle
3. 2ème prénom? Anne
4. Ton anniversaire ? 22/07/1965
6. Tatouages? Non
7. As-tu déjà été amoureux(se)? Oui
8. As-tu déjà aimé jusqu'au point de pleurer ? Oui
9. Taille ? 1m 70
10. Café ou thé ? Thé
12. Numéro préféré? 11
13. Couleur des cheveux ? Châtain clair
14. Couleur des yeux ? Bleu
15. As-tu déjà eu une fracture ? Oui
17. Type de musique préférée ? Rock et Pop
18. Fleurs ? Dahlias
19. Sujet de conversation détesté ? Les trucs glaireux
22. Problème ? Je ne comprends pas cette question
23. Couleur préférée ? Bleu
24. Comment te vois-tu dans l'avenir ? Long
25. Des animaux à la maison ? Deux chats et deux chiens
26. Lequel de tes amis vit le plus loin ? Jen
27. Qui sera le plus rapide à répondre à ton mail ?
28. Qui sera le plus long ?
29. Amis spéciaux ? Plusieurs ~ Ils savent qui ils sont
30. Que changerais-tu dans ta vie ? La situation paternelle de mes enfants
31. Tu as un ordi à la maison ? Oui
32. CD préféré ? Highway 61, Revisited, et The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan de Bob Dylan
33. La première chose à laquelle tu penses quand tu te réveilles ? Normalement, c’est que je suis heureuse de me réveiller encore une fois pour vivre une autre journée
34. Comment vois tu l'Amour ? Réconfortant
35. Quelque chose que tu as toujours avec toi et que tu n'as jamais dit ? Oui
36. Des envies? De rentrer aux USA bientôt et pour de bon ; que la situation avec ma fille s’arrange
37. Qu'y a t il sous ton lit ? Rien
38. Écris quelque chose à la personne qui t'a envoyé ce mail : Merci beaucoup de ta confinace et de ton amitié depuis maintenant 27 ans
39. Nomme la personne qui ne te répondra sûrement pas ? Arnaud
40. Celle dont tu es sûr qu'elle te répondra ? Fabrice
41. Qui aimerais-tu voir répondre ? Anne-Marie
42. Que dirais-tu a quelqu'un en particulier mais que tu n'oses pas dire : Aide-moi
43. Sport favori ? Hicking
44. Timide ou extraverti(e) ? Timide
45. Ton surnom ? Nana
46. Langues parlées ? Français, Anglais, le Breton dont je comprends après quelques jours
47. Un mot que tu aimes dire ? Pluttification
48. Un coucou à quelqu'un en particulier ? Non
49. Aimerais-tu qu'on t'offre des fleurs à ton anniversaire ? Oui
50 Qu'est-ce que tu voudrais pour ton anniversaire ? C'est encore loin
51. Opel ou Seat ? Seat
52. Sucré ou salé ? Ça dépend de l’heure, mais normalement, salé
53. Lieu favori ? Carmel Valley et Carmel, Brasparts et Huelgoat
54. Citation favorite : « Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you » ; « Keep Passing the Open Windows »
55. Bière ou vin ? Vin ~ Mais je ne les aime pas tout les deux.
56. Heure de fin ? 11 :06
Entier et colle-le dans un nouveau mail. Change toutes les réponses pour
Qu'elles soient les tiennes. Ensuite, envoie ce message a un groupe de gens
Que tu connais, incluant la personne qui te l'a envoyé. En théorie tu vas
Apprendre plusieurs petites choses a propos de tes amis.
N'oublie pas d'envoyer tes réponses a l'expéditeur de ce message
1. Quelle heure est-il ? 10 :49
2. Prénom ? Danielle
3. 2ème prénom? Anne
4. Ton anniversaire ? 22/07/1965
6. Tatouages? Non
7. As-tu déjà été amoureux(se)? Oui
8. As-tu déjà aimé jusqu'au point de pleurer ? Oui
9. Taille ? 1m 70
10. Café ou thé ? Thé
12. Numéro préféré? 11
13. Couleur des cheveux ? Châtain clair
14. Couleur des yeux ? Bleu
15. As-tu déjà eu une fracture ? Oui
17. Type de musique préférée ? Rock et Pop
18. Fleurs ? Dahlias
19. Sujet de conversation détesté ? Les trucs glaireux
22. Problème ? Je ne comprends pas cette question
23. Couleur préférée ? Bleu
24. Comment te vois-tu dans l'avenir ? Long
25. Des animaux à la maison ? Deux chats et deux chiens
26. Lequel de tes amis vit le plus loin ? Jen
27. Qui sera le plus rapide à répondre à ton mail ?
28. Qui sera le plus long ?
29. Amis spéciaux ? Plusieurs ~ Ils savent qui ils sont
30. Que changerais-tu dans ta vie ? La situation paternelle de mes enfants
31. Tu as un ordi à la maison ? Oui
32. CD préféré ? Highway 61, Revisited, et The Freewheelin’ Bob Dylan de Bob Dylan
33. La première chose à laquelle tu penses quand tu te réveilles ? Normalement, c’est que je suis heureuse de me réveiller encore une fois pour vivre une autre journée
34. Comment vois tu l'Amour ? Réconfortant
35. Quelque chose que tu as toujours avec toi et que tu n'as jamais dit ? Oui
36. Des envies? De rentrer aux USA bientôt et pour de bon ; que la situation avec ma fille s’arrange
37. Qu'y a t il sous ton lit ? Rien
38. Écris quelque chose à la personne qui t'a envoyé ce mail : Merci beaucoup de ta confinace et de ton amitié depuis maintenant 27 ans
39. Nomme la personne qui ne te répondra sûrement pas ? Arnaud
40. Celle dont tu es sûr qu'elle te répondra ? Fabrice
41. Qui aimerais-tu voir répondre ? Anne-Marie
42. Que dirais-tu a quelqu'un en particulier mais que tu n'oses pas dire : Aide-moi
43. Sport favori ? Hicking
44. Timide ou extraverti(e) ? Timide
45. Ton surnom ? Nana
46. Langues parlées ? Français, Anglais, le Breton dont je comprends après quelques jours
47. Un mot que tu aimes dire ? Pluttification
48. Un coucou à quelqu'un en particulier ? Non
49. Aimerais-tu qu'on t'offre des fleurs à ton anniversaire ? Oui
50 Qu'est-ce que tu voudrais pour ton anniversaire ? C'est encore loin
51. Opel ou Seat ? Seat
52. Sucré ou salé ? Ça dépend de l’heure, mais normalement, salé
53. Lieu favori ? Carmel Valley et Carmel, Brasparts et Huelgoat
54. Citation favorite : « Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you » ; « Keep Passing the Open Windows »
55. Bière ou vin ? Vin ~ Mais je ne les aime pas tout les deux.
56. Heure de fin ? 11 :06
posted by Nana @ 04:13
0 Comments
P. S.
French banks are stupid and charge tons of fees. As part of the process of gathering enough money for me to move back to the US several months earlier than planned, we are, therefore, closing our C d'E accounts. Please be advised that that will be done today, Saturday, November 23, 2007. The accounts cost well over $100 a month in fees - they charge $12-15 a month for online banking, $12-15 a month for your ATM card, etc. We are just going to keep one account, the one F has had for years at the C A. Any future checks sent, will therefore be drawn from that account, instead.
Since J's child support payments are still in arrears, and in accordance with State and Federal laws, I will be claiming M as a dependent on my 2007 Federal and State income tax forms.
I have nothing else to say to any of them!
Since J's child support payments are still in arrears, and in accordance with State and Federal laws, I will be claiming M as a dependent on my 2007 Federal and State income tax forms.
I have nothing else to say to any of them!
posted by Nana @ 03:04
0 Comments
The Way it is Going to Be - To My Daughter
1. In an attempt to avoid doing to everybody what my friend's, and F's ex-wives have done to them and to their children, I offered to allow you to live with J and C for eighth grade. I said that, after that, once I was back in the States, and ASSUMING that I had been allowed appropriate custodial time with my daughter at my place of residence, "we will see," what would be done from eighth grade on. All I wanted was for you to have a loving, supportive relationship with both of your parents. I did not want, never intended for, and never indicated that such a change in residence would be permanent. After eighth grade, I intended for my daughter to come back to live with my husband, and me and to spend any and all breaks from school of 4 days or more in Wisconsin.
2. When I was a single mother, things were not easy. J never was current in his child support payments. I wasn't always making as much money as I could. In addition to the financial difficulties, I suffer from depression. Just like J's alcoholism, depression is a disease, and an extremely devastating one. My depression and my fatigue at trying to do everything by myself all the time, working full-time while going to school full-time, and being your sole parent for twelve years and 10 months took their toll. Our family life was virtually non-existent. I did my best, but my best was not necessarily good enough. Over the years, though, things got better. I sought treatment for my depression. I had a good job. I was better able to keep things under control and to provide you a good home. It wasn't always perfect, but it was better and better. By the beginning of 2007, my therapy was going well, and my depression was not defining my life. My psychiatrist and my therapist said that I was making mindful, loving decisions. My panic attacks were under control. Etc. They told me that I was no longer exhibiting symptoms of depression and did not need to continue treatment. I started that treatment back up again a couple of months ago, though, because my depression is worse in wintry climates than it was in California. I do not deal well with the darkness and cold. I do not like France. However, the depression is not debilitating. It is simply there. Things in my home are clean and well organized. At work, I am known for being organized and dependable. I cook. We do things together as a family. In sum, I am living a "normal" life. My "homesickness" is not defining my life or my decisions, either.
3. J and C are deliberately and willfully interfering, not only with our verbal agreements as far as your time in Wisconsin is concerned, but also with local, State, and Federal laws with respect to child custody and parenting time. Not only are they doing so, but they are attempting to disguise their choices by saying that their bank takes forever to cash foreign checks, and by, as always, bad-mouthing me and telling you that the fact that they have chosen not to allow you to spend your Christmas break with me at my place of residence is MY fault. Such is not the case. Isn't it odd that everybody else's bank cashes my checks in under a week, but that theirs takes months?
4. I am going to the US Embassy this coming Friday to file an initial formal complaint for custodial interference. As the embassy is not a judicial, but a diplomatic entity, such a filing has no legal impact, but does establish the incidence of custodial interference.
5. There is no way on God's green earth that your passport will arrive in time for you to spend your Christmas break with me. J and C have willfully and deliberately refrained from seeking the issuance of said passport in order to manipulate the situation and everybody involved so as to deny me the parenting time to which I am entitled. I have not asked for much during the time that I have allowed you to live with J, and what little I have asked for has been denied. I give my daughter gifts, they are taken away. I try to continue the passion for photography that you and I had begun exploring together, and that, too, is denied. I NEVER, EVER either confiscated your gifts from any of your father's family or denied you the opportunity to pursue any interests you began while in their care. That is not right, and is also continued evidence of custodial interference.
6. Not one time in the past few months has either J or C bothered to attempt calm discussion or negotiation of this matter with me. Not once did either of them approach me to talk to me as a loving, caring mother. Not once. P and C did. But them, your father and stepmother? They couldn't be bothered. How is that behavior, how are those decisions, in your best interests, pray tell?
7. Because of J and C's actions and decisions, any verbal agreements we may have had have been nullified.
8. I have a basic civil, constitutionally protected right to direct your upbringing and education. In addition to that fundamental right, I am and have always been your custodial parent. While my life was not always so great, not only have those rights never been denied, but also all material changes in circumstances in your environment while in my care have been improvements. Now, my life is even better. My depression is controlled. I am working. I have a loving, caring husband, and a good and stable marriage. I have a real family life and only wish my child, you, to be part of that life. You may believe that our relationship is better with you living with J and C, but, since you have never experienced our relationship under these stable, loving, caring, and nurturing circumstances, you don't really know.
9. Therefore, by the end of February, I will be back living in the US. I will reserve, purchase, and pay for a plane ticket for you to join me at my home with my husband. I will inform you all of the date and time for that flight, and will expect you to be on it. If you are not on that plane, I will file a formal complaint with the local law enforcement agencies both where I live and in Wausau, for willful denial of parental rights and custodial interference.
10. I will expect you to live with me and to have an open mind as to that living situation and our relationship. I want you to experience for yourself what life is like with me when I am not a single parent and can therefore provide a complete, full, loving, caring, clean, healthy, familial environment to my child, you, who I love more than anything else on Earth. I will, of course, allow you to spend as much of your school break time as is possible with J and C. Except that, because you have not spent more than three days with me since March; and because my Christmas visit with you, and your Christmas visit with me and F's family, who only want to meet and get to know you, the granddaughter, niece, and cousin that they already love, I will request compensatory parenting time during the summer of 2008 so that your summer visit with J will consist of four weeks, only, as defined in our divorce agreement, but with the actual dates to be determined in accordance with your school calendar.
11. If and only if you are returned to my care, custody and control; if and only if you undertake living with me with an open mind and give the situation an honest effort; if and only if J and C cease and desist from demeaning and belittling me, brainwashing my daughter against me, and otherwise interfering in my relationship with my child; and, if and only if my parenting time is not acceptable or is more difficult than is in your best interest; then and only then, during the summer of 2008, will I consider a change in your custodial placement for the 2008-2009 academic year.
12. M, all I am asking for is to live with and love my child. That is not unreasonable. All I am asking you to do is what you say F's daughters should do with him, and to give me and my new life an honest, open, and loving chance. All I am asking for is the kind of love, compassion, forgiveness and understanding you have always shown to J and C, to your brother, to everybody everywhere, except me. I want you to please give me and our relationship the kind of chance, the kind of openness, the kind of compassion and understanding and love, and the kind of forgiveness that you give to everybody else.
13. I am not now, nor will I ever attempt to prohibit J his relationship with you. I will do whatever is in my power to ensure that you are able to spend as much time with him as possible, in accordance with the provisions outlined in item 10, above. You have a right to a caring, loving, bonding relationship with both of your parents, and with both sides of your family, including, not only J and C's families, but also mine and F's.
14.
"Equal custody" does NOT mean EQUAL parenting time. However, it does mean that I have a right to have you with me, and a right to abide by the parenting agreement put forth in my divorce agreement, as such agreement has not been modified and because I have not done anything to the detriment of your material custodial circumstances. I have only made a better home for you and for myself. With it being all the better, all the more stable, all the more loving, and all the more complete, since my depression and anxiety are under control; and since I am in a loving and stable marriage with a kind, compassionate, and caring man, your stepfather.
15. I am sorry that your father and stepmother could not see clear to follow through with our informal agreements. I am sorry that they insist on making me out to be such a bad person in your eyes. I am sorry you have been made to believe that you are better off without me. I am sorry you feel the way you do right now. Please know that I am taking the action that I believe is best, for you and for our parent-child relationship. If it doesn't work, I will let you go live with your Dad. But you need to give it a chance, Morgan.
16. Remember, all of your choices, all of my choices, all of everybody's choices, have consequences.
I love you.
Love,
Mom
2. When I was a single mother, things were not easy. J never was current in his child support payments. I wasn't always making as much money as I could. In addition to the financial difficulties, I suffer from depression. Just like J's alcoholism, depression is a disease, and an extremely devastating one. My depression and my fatigue at trying to do everything by myself all the time, working full-time while going to school full-time, and being your sole parent for twelve years and 10 months took their toll. Our family life was virtually non-existent. I did my best, but my best was not necessarily good enough. Over the years, though, things got better. I sought treatment for my depression. I had a good job. I was better able to keep things under control and to provide you a good home. It wasn't always perfect, but it was better and better. By the beginning of 2007, my therapy was going well, and my depression was not defining my life. My psychiatrist and my therapist said that I was making mindful, loving decisions. My panic attacks were under control. Etc. They told me that I was no longer exhibiting symptoms of depression and did not need to continue treatment. I started that treatment back up again a couple of months ago, though, because my depression is worse in wintry climates than it was in California. I do not deal well with the darkness and cold. I do not like France. However, the depression is not debilitating. It is simply there. Things in my home are clean and well organized. At work, I am known for being organized and dependable. I cook. We do things together as a family. In sum, I am living a "normal" life. My "homesickness" is not defining my life or my decisions, either.
3. J and C are deliberately and willfully interfering, not only with our verbal agreements as far as your time in Wisconsin is concerned, but also with local, State, and Federal laws with respect to child custody and parenting time. Not only are they doing so, but they are attempting to disguise their choices by saying that their bank takes forever to cash foreign checks, and by, as always, bad-mouthing me and telling you that the fact that they have chosen not to allow you to spend your Christmas break with me at my place of residence is MY fault. Such is not the case. Isn't it odd that everybody else's bank cashes my checks in under a week, but that theirs takes months?
4. I am going to the US Embassy this coming Friday to file an initial formal complaint for custodial interference. As the embassy is not a judicial, but a diplomatic entity, such a filing has no legal impact, but does establish the incidence of custodial interference.
5. There is no way on God's green earth that your passport will arrive in time for you to spend your Christmas break with me. J and C have willfully and deliberately refrained from seeking the issuance of said passport in order to manipulate the situation and everybody involved so as to deny me the parenting time to which I am entitled. I have not asked for much during the time that I have allowed you to live with J, and what little I have asked for has been denied. I give my daughter gifts, they are taken away. I try to continue the passion for photography that you and I had begun exploring together, and that, too, is denied. I NEVER, EVER either confiscated your gifts from any of your father's family or denied you the opportunity to pursue any interests you began while in their care. That is not right, and is also continued evidence of custodial interference.
6. Not one time in the past few months has either J or C bothered to attempt calm discussion or negotiation of this matter with me. Not once did either of them approach me to talk to me as a loving, caring mother. Not once. P and C did. But them, your father and stepmother? They couldn't be bothered. How is that behavior, how are those decisions, in your best interests, pray tell?
7. Because of J and C's actions and decisions, any verbal agreements we may have had have been nullified.
8. I have a basic civil, constitutionally protected right to direct your upbringing and education. In addition to that fundamental right, I am and have always been your custodial parent. While my life was not always so great, not only have those rights never been denied, but also all material changes in circumstances in your environment while in my care have been improvements. Now, my life is even better. My depression is controlled. I am working. I have a loving, caring husband, and a good and stable marriage. I have a real family life and only wish my child, you, to be part of that life. You may believe that our relationship is better with you living with J and C, but, since you have never experienced our relationship under these stable, loving, caring, and nurturing circumstances, you don't really know.
9. Therefore, by the end of February, I will be back living in the US. I will reserve, purchase, and pay for a plane ticket for you to join me at my home with my husband. I will inform you all of the date and time for that flight, and will expect you to be on it. If you are not on that plane, I will file a formal complaint with the local law enforcement agencies both where I live and in Wausau, for willful denial of parental rights and custodial interference.
10. I will expect you to live with me and to have an open mind as to that living situation and our relationship. I want you to experience for yourself what life is like with me when I am not a single parent and can therefore provide a complete, full, loving, caring, clean, healthy, familial environment to my child, you, who I love more than anything else on Earth. I will, of course, allow you to spend as much of your school break time as is possible with J and C. Except that, because you have not spent more than three days with me since March; and because my Christmas visit with you, and your Christmas visit with me and F's family, who only want to meet and get to know you, the granddaughter, niece, and cousin that they already love, I will request compensatory parenting time during the summer of 2008 so that your summer visit with J will consist of four weeks, only, as defined in our divorce agreement, but with the actual dates to be determined in accordance with your school calendar.
11. If and only if you are returned to my care, custody and control; if and only if you undertake living with me with an open mind and give the situation an honest effort; if and only if J and C cease and desist from demeaning and belittling me, brainwashing my daughter against me, and otherwise interfering in my relationship with my child; and, if and only if my parenting time is not acceptable or is more difficult than is in your best interest; then and only then, during the summer of 2008, will I consider a change in your custodial placement for the 2008-2009 academic year.
12. M, all I am asking for is to live with and love my child. That is not unreasonable. All I am asking you to do is what you say F's daughters should do with him, and to give me and my new life an honest, open, and loving chance. All I am asking for is the kind of love, compassion, forgiveness and understanding you have always shown to J and C, to your brother, to everybody everywhere, except me. I want you to please give me and our relationship the kind of chance, the kind of openness, the kind of compassion and understanding and love, and the kind of forgiveness that you give to everybody else.
13. I am not now, nor will I ever attempt to prohibit J his relationship with you. I will do whatever is in my power to ensure that you are able to spend as much time with him as possible, in accordance with the provisions outlined in item 10, above. You have a right to a caring, loving, bonding relationship with both of your parents, and with both sides of your family, including, not only J and C's families, but also mine and F's.
14.
The only custodial determination for two fit parents, is equal custody. This survives “strict scrutiny,” does not violate Equal Protection or Due Process, is in the “best interests of the child,” and is constitutionally sound.
"Equal custody" does NOT mean EQUAL parenting time. However, it does mean that I have a right to have you with me, and a right to abide by the parenting agreement put forth in my divorce agreement, as such agreement has not been modified and because I have not done anything to the detriment of your material custodial circumstances. I have only made a better home for you and for myself. With it being all the better, all the more stable, all the more loving, and all the more complete, since my depression and anxiety are under control; and since I am in a loving and stable marriage with a kind, compassionate, and caring man, your stepfather.
"The greatest benefit a court can bestow upon children is to insure that they shall not only retain the love of both parents but shall at all times and constantly be deeply imbued with love and respect for both parents." Smith v. Smith, 205 A.2d 83 (New Jersey, 1964)
15. I am sorry that your father and stepmother could not see clear to follow through with our informal agreements. I am sorry that they insist on making me out to be such a bad person in your eyes. I am sorry you have been made to believe that you are better off without me. I am sorry you feel the way you do right now. Please know that I am taking the action that I believe is best, for you and for our parent-child relationship. If it doesn't work, I will let you go live with your Dad. But you need to give it a chance, Morgan.
16. Remember, all of your choices, all of my choices, all of everybody's choices, have consequences.
I love you.
Love,
Mom
posted by Nana @ 02:47
0 Comments
Friday, November 23, 2007
Dear Morgan
Dear Morgan,
I love you.
I am sorry things are the way that they are right now. It's too bad nobody was able to get your passport on time, and that you can't come for Christmas. Had that happened, things would be very different now.Please understand that I do not understand how your Dad and C's bank takes weeks on end to cash checks from France, when everybody else I have sent checks to had them clear within a week.
I am sorry that you do not want to give things a try.
But I am going to have to insist.
I never wanted or agreed to your living permanently in Wisconsin.
I never said you got to decide where you live. I said you would have a say in the matter. But there is a difference between having a say and deciding. You need to understand that just because you have the right to an opinion, doesn’t mean you have the right to decide. I am still your parent. It isn’t my fault that agreements haven’t been kept. I parented you alone for the first 12 and ¾ years of your life and I am now being slapped in the face. It isn’t fair and it isn’t right.
You have a family life in Wisconsin that you never had with me. I understand and appreciate that. However, my life is different now, and you are going to have to give it a chance.
I have a right to have you live with me. I am going to exercise that right. This is not a punishment, and I am sorry if you take it that way. I am not the bad guy. I am being denied my right to spend time with you and I am not going to allow that right to be denied. I have the right to parent you, too, and since nobody has seen clear to keeping his or her end of the agreement, I am not going to continue keeping mine.
I will be back living in the US by February, and will purchase a plane ticket for you to come back and live with me, pursuant to my divorce agreement with your Dad.
I am asking one thing of you. That you give it a try with us living as a family with Fabrice. When I was a single Mom, things were different. It was harder for me, and our relationship was not always what it could be. Nothing was always as it should have been. But I did my best, and I did it myself.
Now things are different. You are going to have to give it a try. I am asking you to do so with an open mind.
If, after a few months, things are not as they should be, then, and only then, will I reconsider your living in Wisconsin.
I will contact you later on to let you know when your flight back to my home is.
It's not the end of the world to have to live with your mother who has always loved you, cared for you, taken care of you, wand tried her damndest to do what is best for you. You will still sleep at night, get up, eat breakfast, brush your teeth, go to school, have friends and activities, love both of your parents, and live your life.I love you.
Love,
Yo Momma
posted by Nana @ 12:00
1 Comments
Plan C
It's been almost a month now. Morgan's father and stepmother haven't bothered to apply for her passport. They insist on claiming that the checks haven't been processed yet. Which is odd considering every other check I have sent to the US, to everybody else I sent one to, was processed in less than a week.
Somehow, Morgan's father and stepmother's bank is the one bank in America that takes over a month to cash a foreign check!!
I am getting very concerned. I am afraid that, even with the expedited processing, the passport won't arrive in time. And, in addition, because I don't think it will be done on time, I am not buying Morgan's ticket until they have her passport, and the prices are skyrocketing between the holidays and the price of gas. The cheapest ticket I can find is about $800, from Minneapolis to Paris. And that is a special sales fare that will only last for a couple more days. After that, the next cheapest is over $1,200. Add to that, the fact that Morgan doesn't have much of a break from school, and that what break she has completely coincides to the holiday fare hikes, and I find myself rather stuck. She may have to miss a few days of school.
Morgan asked me if I have a "Plan B," and I do. My Plan B has always been for us to go to the US for Christmas if John had a problem. However, we can't afford two tickets. One is more than enough at the current fare rates. So we're onto Plan C, which is for me to go to the US, without Fabrice. If Morgan's passport doesn't come on time, that is what I am going to do.
However, if I am left with only that option, then I plan to stay in the US and have my daughter, of whom I have the primary care, custody, and control, live with me, the way it was. Well, not entirely the way it was, but with her with me most of the time, and with then for all of her breaks.
I have spoken to Michele a few times, and partially based on that, partially based on my confidence in Morgan's paternal grandparents, even if I do have her back living with me, and even if that happens as of December or January, I am much more open to Morgan spending as much of her break time from school as she wants to in Wisconsin. Michele has told me that Christine is a fantastic person, that she adored her for herself, and was even more impressed by her abilities in interacting with the kids. And Michele also said, and she thought this would make me mad, that John is a wonderful father with Fiona. It did not make me mad.
I still do not like or trust John. I doubt I ever will. I still cannot forget the filthy things he said about Morgan. However, I think that Morgan is old enough to both stick up for herself and to have some say in where she lives.
That said, "some say" doesn't mean that she decides. I honestly believe that, between the 12 plus years of parenting Morgan that I had up until I let her spend some time living there, the fact that I am her mother, the fact that my life and my mental health have improved considerably over the years, and the fact that I have her best interests in my heart of hearts, and not just what I want, Morgan is best off living with me during the school year and spending as much of her breaks as she wants to in Wisconsin.
In fact, the sole reason I thought to let her live there a few months in the first place is after seeing the horrible psychological games that one of my friend's, and Fabrice's ex-wives play, using their girls as tools for hurting their ex-husbands. That isn't right.
My friend and Fabrice are not John. Their stories are not ours. But it still isn't right. So I wanted to give Morgan the chance to spend some time living with John.
I never intended for it to be a permanent change, and never said that I did. I still don't.
So, anyway, we're onto Plan C. And I felt it only right to let you all know the gameplan.
Thank you, Christine, for being the person that you are. I am glad you guys got to spend that weekend at the Barn. Otherwise, I never would have known.
Thank you, John, for growing up and taking some responsibility. I do not agree with some of your decisions vis a vis Morgan. But I do appreciate your apparent maturation on the being a father front.
Somehow, Morgan's father and stepmother's bank is the one bank in America that takes over a month to cash a foreign check!!
I am getting very concerned. I am afraid that, even with the expedited processing, the passport won't arrive in time. And, in addition, because I don't think it will be done on time, I am not buying Morgan's ticket until they have her passport, and the prices are skyrocketing between the holidays and the price of gas. The cheapest ticket I can find is about $800, from Minneapolis to Paris. And that is a special sales fare that will only last for a couple more days. After that, the next cheapest is over $1,200. Add to that, the fact that Morgan doesn't have much of a break from school, and that what break she has completely coincides to the holiday fare hikes, and I find myself rather stuck. She may have to miss a few days of school.
Morgan asked me if I have a "Plan B," and I do. My Plan B has always been for us to go to the US for Christmas if John had a problem. However, we can't afford two tickets. One is more than enough at the current fare rates. So we're onto Plan C, which is for me to go to the US, without Fabrice. If Morgan's passport doesn't come on time, that is what I am going to do.
However, if I am left with only that option, then I plan to stay in the US and have my daughter, of whom I have the primary care, custody, and control, live with me, the way it was. Well, not entirely the way it was, but with her with me most of the time, and with then for all of her breaks.
I have spoken to Michele a few times, and partially based on that, partially based on my confidence in Morgan's paternal grandparents, even if I do have her back living with me, and even if that happens as of December or January, I am much more open to Morgan spending as much of her break time from school as she wants to in Wisconsin. Michele has told me that Christine is a fantastic person, that she adored her for herself, and was even more impressed by her abilities in interacting with the kids. And Michele also said, and she thought this would make me mad, that John is a wonderful father with Fiona. It did not make me mad.
I still do not like or trust John. I doubt I ever will. I still cannot forget the filthy things he said about Morgan. However, I think that Morgan is old enough to both stick up for herself and to have some say in where she lives.
That said, "some say" doesn't mean that she decides. I honestly believe that, between the 12 plus years of parenting Morgan that I had up until I let her spend some time living there, the fact that I am her mother, the fact that my life and my mental health have improved considerably over the years, and the fact that I have her best interests in my heart of hearts, and not just what I want, Morgan is best off living with me during the school year and spending as much of her breaks as she wants to in Wisconsin.
In fact, the sole reason I thought to let her live there a few months in the first place is after seeing the horrible psychological games that one of my friend's, and Fabrice's ex-wives play, using their girls as tools for hurting their ex-husbands. That isn't right.
My friend and Fabrice are not John. Their stories are not ours. But it still isn't right. So I wanted to give Morgan the chance to spend some time living with John.
I never intended for it to be a permanent change, and never said that I did. I still don't.
So, anyway, we're onto Plan C. And I felt it only right to let you all know the gameplan.
Thank you, Christine, for being the person that you are. I am glad you guys got to spend that weekend at the Barn. Otherwise, I never would have known.
Thank you, John, for growing up and taking some responsibility. I do not agree with some of your decisions vis a vis Morgan. But I do appreciate your apparent maturation on the being a father front.
posted by Nana @ 11:31
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Ce que j'aime en France.... What I Like About France.....
1. Ma famille/ My Family
2. La Bretagne/ Brittany
2. Le Pain/ The Bread
3. Paris (Sans les trains et le métro, que je n’aimais pas même avant les grèves!)/ Paris (Except the trains and subway, which I despised even before the strikes!)
4. Mes élèves/ My Students
5. Mes quelques amis/ My Few Friends
6. L'art (ou LES artS)/The Art (or The ArtS)
7. L'histoire (The History)
8. La diversité qu’apportent les immigrés. (The Diversity of the Immigrant Population).
2. La Bretagne/ Brittany
2. Le Pain/ The Bread
3. Paris (Sans les trains et le métro, que je n’aimais pas même avant les grèves!)/ Paris (Except the trains and subway, which I despised even before the strikes!)
4. Mes élèves/ My Students
5. Mes quelques amis/ My Few Friends
6. L'art (ou LES artS)/The Art (or The ArtS)
7. L'histoire (The History)
8. La diversité qu’apportent les immigrés. (The Diversity of the Immigrant Population).
posted by Nana @ 01:39
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Thursday, November 22, 2007
Pies to be Baked
They're baking as I post this. I will update you soon...
posted by Nana @ 07:37
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Naked Pie Crust
They don't celebrate Thanksgiving in France.
I never realized how much it would bother me.
I miss my kids.
I miss my family.
I miss my friends.
I miss the American Way.
I miss being home.
So, anyway, for lack of anything better to do, I made my own pumpkin pie.
And from a real pumpkin, mind you!!!
I never realized how much it would bother me.
I miss my kids.
I miss my family.
I miss my friends.
I miss the American Way.
I miss being home.
So, anyway, for lack of anything better to do, I made my own pumpkin pie.
And from a real pumpkin, mind you!!!
posted by Nana @ 07:30
0 Comments
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
The Knowledge of Dr. Seuss
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.”
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own.
And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go.”
“And will you succeed? Yes indeed, yes indeed! Ninety-eight and three-quarters percent guaranteed!”
“You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room.”
“From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.”
“And the turtles, of course... All the turtles are free- As turtles and, maybe, all creatures should be.”
“[A]s you partake of the world's bill of fare,/ that's darned good advice to follow./ Do a lot of spitting out the hot air./ And be careful what you swallow.”
“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.”
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own.
And you know what you know. You are the guy who'll decide where to go.”
“And will you succeed? Yes indeed, yes indeed! Ninety-eight and three-quarters percent guaranteed!”
“You can get help from teachers, but you are going to have to learn a lot by yourself, sitting alone in a room.”
“From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere.”
“And the turtles, of course... All the turtles are free- As turtles and, maybe, all creatures should be.”
“[A]s you partake of the world's bill of fare,/ that's darned good advice to follow./ Do a lot of spitting out the hot air./ And be careful what you swallow.”
posted by Nana @ 14:26
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Apologies
I'm sorry for losing touch.
I haven't been doing the greatest - too much of too many things... depression, France sucking, feeling cold, trying to adjust to Fabrice in the not-so-good times, missing people and places and things....
I was too ashamed and feeling sorry for myself.
I sometimes wish I drank so that I could go to rehab and get help instead of retreating into the shadows of my own despair.
I want to go home to the States. But don't really have anywhere to go.
I haven't been doing the greatest - too much of too many things... depression, France sucking, feeling cold, trying to adjust to Fabrice in the not-so-good times, missing people and places and things....
I was too ashamed and feeling sorry for myself.
I sometimes wish I drank so that I could go to rehab and get help instead of retreating into the shadows of my own despair.
I want to go home to the States. But don't really have anywhere to go.
posted by Nana @ 03:50
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Tuesday, November 20, 2007
French Civil Servants Join Rail Protest
posted by Nana @ 05:35
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Monday, November 19, 2007
After Reading...
After reading, I live downstairs from you, I am going to try to be nicer to homeless people and beggars in the street.
It's hard, there are so many of them.
They make me a little nervous. As if I do not deserve to have what they no longer possess.
But the book struck a chord with me.
I am no better than they are. No better than anyone.
So I will at least try to be nice, to look them in the eye, to say "hello," even when I have nothing to give....
Maybe if we all did the same, it would make a difference.
Maybe.
Just maybe.
It's hard, there are so many of them.
They make me a little nervous. As if I do not deserve to have what they no longer possess.
But the book struck a chord with me.
I am no better than they are. No better than anyone.
So I will at least try to be nice, to look them in the eye, to say "hello," even when I have nothing to give....
Maybe if we all did the same, it would make a difference.
Maybe.
Just maybe.
posted by Nana @ 13:01
0 Comments
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Je suis entrain de lire...
Je suis entrain de lire ce merveilleux livre, J’habite en bas de chez vous. C’est l’histoire d’une SDF, Brigitte, de sa galère avant et pendant sa vie dans la rue. La rue dans laquelle elle a passé deux ans à sombrer dans la misère.
Et pourtant, avant, elle avait toujours travaillé. Toujours eu un logement. Toujours payé ce qu’elle avait à payer.
Ce livre met tellement en évidence le fait qu’il n’y vraiment pas une grande différence entre les gens. Il ne faut pas forcément grande chose pour faire basculer la vie d’une personne.
Comme on dit en anglais,
posted by Nana @ 11:53
1 Comments
Dad Nana Northfield 1
With my Dad, 1204 St. Olaf Avenue; in Northfield, Minnesota, USA. Late 1971 or 1972
posted by Nana @ 11:41
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Nana & Dad
With my father, and my blue doggy, at Stauffer Place, The University of Kansas' Student Family Housing.
posted by Nana @ 11:39
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Nana, Dad, & Mom
With my parents, at my baptism in Gourin, Morbihan, France. 1967
posted by Nana @ 11:38
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Nana Hempstead 1966
Here I am in front of my grandmother's house in Hempstead, NY, in 1966. Gotta love the stroller, car, license plates, and bumper sticker!!
posted by Nana @ 11:36
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Nana & Great Grandma
Here i am, walking up the stairs in one of my grandmother's houses, at Lido Beach, NY, with my great-grandmother, Hedwig (Glembotsky) Bonn.
The handwriting to the left of the photo is my mother's. Apparently, I was walking up the stairs at 10-months of age.
The handwriting to the left of the photo is my mother's. Apparently, I was walking up the stairs at 10-months of age.
posted by Nana @ 11:35
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Mom, Nana, & Dad
Here I am with my parents; still sometime in 1965.
posted by Nana @ 11:34
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NY World's Fair
Here I am at the ripe old age of 6 months, with my "blue doggy," at the New York World's Fair.
posted by Nana @ 11:33
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BBNana1965
Here is my first baby picture - you know, the requisite hospital one!
posted by Nana @ 11:32
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January, 1999
In 1999, as part of the treatment, one of many, that was attempted for my endometriosis and PCOS, the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics’ doctors began treating me with birth control pills. This is standard practice in the treatment of endo and is often helpful in the treatment of PCOS.
Within two weeks, I was hospitalized with DVT (Deep Vein Thrombosis), blood clots from my ankle to my groin on the left side.
posted by Nana @ 11:22
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Endometriosis and PCOS - Some of the Story
For several years, I was sick. Nothing life threatening or dramatic. But definitely life-altering and a most difficult time of my life. One of many. From about the age of 17 or 18, until April 15, 2001, I suffered from endometriosis and polycystic ovarian syndrome.
According to Yahoo! Health,
Endometriosis is:
Topic Overview
What is endometriosis?
The endometrium is the tissue that lines the uterus. During each menstrual cycle, a new endometrium grows, preparing for a possible pregnancy. If you do not become pregnant during that cycle, the endometrium is shed, which you know as your menstrual period.
Endometriosis is endometrium tissue that grows outside of the uterus. This usually occurs on the ovaries, the fallopian tubes, the outer surface of the uterus, the bowels, or other abdominal organs. Rarely, it can affect other organs and structures in the body.
Endometriosis growths are called “implants.” They grow, bleed, and break down with each menstrual cycle, just like the endometrium does. This can cause pain and can make it difficult to get pregnant. In some cases, scar tissue forms around implants. Scar tissue can also cause pain and problems getting pregnant, and it can interfere with an organ's normal function.
What causes endometriosis?
Experts do not know the exact cause of endometriosis. However, we do know that estrogen "feeds" it. That is why endometriosis only affects women during the years before menopause. During the childbearing years, when the menstrual cycle is regular, women normally have high levels of estrogen. At menopause, menstrual periods stop, and the body's estrogen levels drop.
There are several theories that explain how endometrial cells grow outside of the uterus. The cells may be carried up the fallopian tubes and into the abdomen during menstruation. They may grow from cells that are similar to the endometrium. Or, they may be moved from the uterus by blood or lymph circulation or during a surgery or childbirth.
Experts believe that the body's own defense system (called the immune system) normally kills off any endometrial cells outside of the uterus. However, it appears that in women who have endometriosis, a problem with the immune system helps these cells implant and grow where they don't belong. 1
Endometriosis also is known to run in families.
What are the symptoms?
While some women with endometriosis never have symptoms, others develop mild, moderate, or severe pain. Depending on where the endometriosis is growing, pain can be in the lower belly or in the rectum or vagina. Pain can happen only before and during the menstrual period or on a constant basis. For some women, pain is most noticeable during sex, a bowel movement, or ovulation. Abnormal vaginal or rectal bleeding can be a sign of endometriosis.
Endometriosis can sometimes make it difficult to get pregnant. Some women never know that they have endometriosis until they see a doctor because they are not able to get pregnant (infertility).
If you have endometriosis, it is likely to be different for you than for another woman who has it. If you have symptoms, they may stay the same, improve, or suddenly get worse. They are likely to improve during pregnancy. For almost all women, endometriosis shrinks away and stops causing symptoms after menopause.
How is endometriosis diagnosed?
Since pelvic pain and infertility have many causes, your health professional will check you for signs of several possible conditions. Diagnosis of endometriosis starts with talking about your history of symptoms and your menstrual periods. You will also have a pelvic exam, which often includes checking both the vagina and rectum.
If your exam, symptoms, and risk factors strongly suggest that you have endometriosis, your health professional may suggest that you try medicine before having more tests. Usually, medicine treatment starts with hormone therapy and/or nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug (NSAID) therapy. If your symptoms improve after a few months of treatment, it is even more likely that you have endometriosis.
If you have signs of an endometriosis cyst on an ovary (endometrioma), a test called a transvaginal ultrasound can show the cyst on a computer screen. An MRI or CT scan can also show what is inside your pelvis.
Your doctor may eventually do a laparoscopy. During this surgery, your doctor places a viewing instrument through a small incision in your belly (abdomen) to see how severe your condition is.
How is it treated?
There is no cure for endometriosis. However, you do have options for treating pain and infertility. These include slowing, stopping, or removing endometriosis implants and scar tissue. Your treatment choices depend on whether you plan to get pregnant in the future. You may need to try several different treatments to find one that works best for you.
Pain. For endometriosis that causes only mild symptoms, you may get enough relief with home treatment such using as a heating pad and taking pain medicine that you can buy without a prescription.
When pain medicine is not enough, many women get relief by controlling their menstrual cycles with birth control pills. The advantage of birth control pills is that they are the only hormone therapy that most women can take for years with few or no side effects.
If birth control pills do not help, you may try other hormone therapies that work by lowering the body's estrogen levels. This can cause difficult side effects, however. All hormone therapies relieve endometriosis pain by shrinking endometriosis implants. Overall, they all work well to relieve pain for most women. 2 However, pain often returns several months after treatment ends.
Removing implants or scar tissue with surgery relieves pain for most women. However, pain usually returns a year or two after surgery. Taking hormone medicine after surgery may help you stay pain-free longer. 3, 4
As a last resort for pain treatment, some women have the uterus and ovaries removed (hysterectomy and oophorectomy). Having your ovaries removed drops your estrogen levels and starts early menopause. This relieves symptoms in most cases, but up to 15% of women have pain return. 5 Also, removing your uterus and ovaries is a major surgery that has its own risks. It also makes you permanently unable to become pregnant. For more information, see the topic Hysterectomy.
Infertility. Depending on your age (fertility naturally declines after age 35) and how severe your endometriosis is, you have different options. You can improve your chances of pregnancy by having laparoscopic surgery to remove moderate to severe endometriosis, using intrauterine insemination and fertility drugs such as clomiphene (Clomid, for example), and/or having in vitro fertilization (IVF).
Topic Overview
What is polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)?
Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is a health problem that can affect a woman's hormone levels, periods, and ovulation. This can affect fertility and pregnancy. It can also cause male-type body changes.
If you have PCOS, your hormone (endocrine) system is out of balance. This can lead to serious health problems, such as diabetes and heart disease.
What are the symptoms?
If you have PCOS, you may have problems with:
- Acne.
- Weight gain and have trouble losing weight.
- Male pattern baldness or thinning hair on the scalp.
- Hair growth on the face, back, or chest.
- High blood sugar (hyperglycemia).
PCOS also can cause menstrual and pregnancy problems, including:
- No periods or irregular periods.
- Trouble getting pregnant.
- Repeat miscarriages.
- Gestational diabetes during pregnancy.
Living with PCOS symptoms can affect your emotional well-being, sexual satisfaction, and overall quality of life. This can lead to depression. 1
What causes PCOS?
The cause of PCOS is not known.
PCOS problems are caused by hormone changes. One hormone change triggers another, which changes another. This makes a "vicious circle" of out-of-balance hormones in your endocrine system, including:
- Ovary hormones. When the hormones that trigger ovulation are not at the right levels, the ovary does not release an egg every month. In some women, cysts form on the ovaries. These cysts make androgen.
- High androgen levels. High androgen in a woman causes male-type hair and acne problems and can stop ovulation.
- High insulin and blood sugar levels. About half of women with PCOS have a problem with how the body uses insulin, called insulin resistance. When the body doesn't use insulin well, blood sugar builds to high levels. If not treated, this can lead to diabetes.
- High cholesterol levels. This is common with PCOS.
Experts do not yet fully understand what triggers PCOS hormone changes. But they have found that lowering insulin levels seems to improve PCOS problems. 2
You may have a high risk of PCOS if members of your family have had PCOS or type 2 diabetes.
Does PCOS increase your risk for other health problems?
PCOS raises your risks of infertility, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, obstructive sleep apnea, heart disease, uterine (endometrial) cancer, and diabetes. (Of women who have PCOS, about 1 in 10 have type 2 diabetes by age 40. 2 ) If you do not have menstrual bleeding for a year or more, your risk of uterine cancer increases.
Treating PCOS can lower these health risks.
With PCOS, you also have higher risks of miscarriage and gestational diabetes. This may be linked to high insulin levels. 3
How is PCOS diagnosed?
No single test can show that you have PCOS. Your doctor will talk to you about your medical history, symptoms, and menstrual cycles. During your physical exam, he or she will check you for physical signs of PCOS. You may also have tests to measure your blood sugar (glucose), androgen, and cholesterol levels.
Many women find out that they have PCOS after they have had a repeat miscarriage or problems getting pregnant.
How is it treated?
If you have PCOS, your hormone system is out of balance. To correct this, your first step is to look at what you eat, how much you eat, and how much physical activity you get.
- Having PCOS raises your risks of serious health problems. Eating heart-healthy foods, along with getting regular exercise, is the key to lowering these risks.
- If you are overweight and have PCOS, a small amount of healthy weight loss is likely to start up your menstrual cycle and ovulation. (PCOS can make it hard to lose weight—making a plan with your doctor, a nutritionist, and/or an athletic trainer can help.)
Talk to your doctor about your goals for treatment.
- If you are trying to get pregnant, healthy weight control may be all that you need to start ovulating. Sometimes, also using diabetes and/or fertility medicine can help.
- If you are not trying to get pregnant, birth control pills can help get your menstrual cycle back on track. (A healthy diet and exercise are still important—taking this medicine alone does not help with heart, blood pressure, cholesterol, and diabetes risks.) Sometimes, also using diabetes medicine can help.
posted by Nana @ 11:12
1 Comments
Update on Fabrice's Dad
Fabrice's father walked two or three steps yesterday, and stood against the wall to eat. His back is hurting less than he thought it would. He is going to be taught how to sit on Monday, and will leave the hospital, via ambulance, on Thursday.
posted by Nana @ 04:28
1 Comments
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Saturday Morning
I thought it would be fun to post a picture a day of the view out my dining room window. That way, we can see, day by day, as the seasons advance. I had already posted this same shot from yesterday and the day before, and thought it interesting to look at the differences in just one day. I figured it would be an undertaking worth continuing, so here goes....
posted by Nana @ 04:38
0 Comments
Friday, November 16, 2007
Friday Morning Frost
This morning we woke to a hard frost. It's been pretty darn cold at night lately. I don't think that last night was the coldest one, but it probably was the hardest frost.
It's hard to get yourself motivated and out of bed in weather like this.
But it IS pretty, isn't it?
It's hard to get yourself motivated and out of bed in weather like this.
But it IS pretty, isn't it?
posted by Nana @ 07:56
0 Comments
Thursday Morning Out the Window
The view from our dining room window yesterday morning.
posted by Nana @ 07:53
0 Comments
