By the End of October of Last Year, I Thought Things Were Getting Better

i said 1000 to 1500, cause that would be my travel budget and id count on
the money you gave me for daily expenses, with the other money working as
backup for weeks where for whatever reasons you couldnt get to the bank.
thanks again for helping me make this year worth my coming over. its
certainly not worth it academically as the classes are boring and i need
more than one to count for anything at olaf (plus i don't think im gonna
be able to finish a phil major cause of being here), but i feel like
because of your help i can travel and do what i wanted to do this year.
weve had a pretty tumultuous life togethor, and cause of your depression
and previous money problems combined with my behavior problems and adhd
you werent always able to be there for me all the time when i was younger.
i think both you and i know that, however i feel like since ive been in
college youve more than made up for that. youre always the first person i
call when i have a problem, and whenever im in a financial bind you always
make sure im fine. im really happy that you are doing so well now, and
that you have such a successful time with your job. i cant express how
much i love you very well via email, but i think you know it. thanks
again.

And then,

hey mom
hows life. im doin well, going to tours this weekend and then planning a
trip to amsterdam for the third or fourth weekend of nov. was originially
planning it for the third weekend but i found out thats the weekend of the
cannabis cup (think of it as oktoberfest for pot), which means i think
everything will be booked solid. were planning on staying on a 4 person
houseboat (there will be between 6 and 8 of us, so some will grab floor
space), the houseboat rent is 200 euro a night so with eight of us thats
only 25 euro a night which is as cheap as a hostel, and a once in a
lifetime experience. after all with over 150 canals, amsterdam is the
venice of the north. have you been to amsterdam before? if so do you
have any cool suggestions on what to do, were already thinking about the
van gogh and rembrandt museums, as well as the anne franke house, and
other suggestions would be more than welcome. wondering when you were
thinking of putting the other 1300 in, also when do you think youll start
putting in the money weekly. like i said before im in no hurry i have
plenty of money for now, but id rather have a buffer. plus i want to pay
for the things for amsterdam, plus get my tickets for ireland during
interim, and my ticketes for amsterdam in march when the jam in the dam
festival will be. in any case put the 1300 in when you have time (maybe
this weekend), and like i said before start putting the hundred in a week
whenever it works best for you, it might be easier if you just put in 200
every two weeks since its hard for you to get to the bank. other than
that life is good here. just had my first two tests this week. one was
incredibly, ridiculously hard and i have low expectations on my grade on
that one, the other one wasn't too hard and i think ill get an a on that
one (14/20 and above is an a). tours will be fun im going with a friend
of mine and were gonna go to some castles and a wine tasting or two.
thanks a lot.

Then in December, things still seemed to be going well.

thanks for being cool. i was an ass earlier, and i didnt mean what i said
i was just stressed and in a bad mood. i really love you and hope that
you dont hold any of this against me. im proud of the changes youve made
in your life and i know youre tryin. youre doing a good job and at this
point in my life im actually proud of you and what youre doin (and i am
happy to brag about youto my friends), something that i couldnt have said
5 or 6 years ago. im happy youre my mom. have a good day

Little did I know.