December 27, 2006

He was not doing so well, again,

im just incredibly depressed. im unomtivated by my studies, and am
completely confused on what to do with my life. i feel like ive just
wasted the last 3 years doing something i hate. im really just wanting to
go home, but i know i cant. i feel like theres nobodyin the world who
understands me and its absolutely unbearable.

And later on,

i cant sleep thats the problem. i hate my life. im just wish i hadnt
gotten into this year. once again p got me into something i dont want
to do. just like my french major. i hate this life i live and alot of
the shit is my fault i know. but its situations like this with p that
really drive me to drink in excess. i dont know what to do. i wish i
could get out of here somewhere. help

To which I replied,

I don't know what to do.

I love you.

Don't despair.

And he said,

what do you do when you feel/felt like your life was hopeless and
everything you had ever done was just a waste of time.

Here were my suggestions,

You strategize how to do what you want.

You think about what's important to you and how to achieve it.

You write.

You read.

You sleep at night and stay awake during the day time.

You go for a walk. Or a run.

You cry.

I don't know if I was doing any good. He hadn't finished,

thats the problem im not sure what i want and what i want to achieve. its
night and i cant sleep and i also cant walk or run right now either. i
dont know what to do with myself. everyt ime i talk to them i am just
miserable. i dont know what to do. my friends back home are something i
can always lean on, and they provide me a lot of the support that i dont
have here. i guess its hard to describe but there are definitly a few of
them that i consider to be members of my family as well. just like you
theyre people i can go to about anything. without you or them im just
falling into a rut, especially with me coming into the realization that
everything ive done so far with my life has been pointless. i know that
if i try and explain this to p and d theyre just gonna say im
copping out and blaming my problems on other people. they just dont
understand me and thats why i never talk to them about anything. i love you
very much and hope you can give me some advice.